When You Know It's Time To Let Go

There comes a point in our life where we have an ah-ha! moment. It can be about friendships, work, school, and everything else under the sun. Sometimes these ah-ha! moments make you realize that it is time to let go.

When it comes to letting go we could take a lot of notes from Elsa, I mean she is the queen of letting go. She has her own song about it! Letting go can be a very hard thing, it can be even harder for people who have invested so much time into whatever. I know that for me, it's really hard especially when it comes to investing time into friendships. I already have a small circle and frankly, I don't want it to get any smaller. College, I dropped out and have never looked back. It was never for me. It took me a couple years to realize that, but I had no problem letting go. Work, I quit to marry my husband and don't regret it one bit. I am happy to be spending everyday with him and not trying to find another job to where I won't see him and have our schedules be terrible. Now the past when it comes to certain things, that can be a troublesome area to let go.

Last night, I had an ah-ha! moment. It all started with me thinking about what I regret while going to college in Texas. Of course, there is no way to change what you could and there's no point in dwelling upon it. And so I realized that I have a wonderful life now and that's what I need to be focused on.

Life brings us different routes that we can take. I chose to get married and be with someone I have known for eight years. Throughout knowing him, he has always been on my mind and somehow our paths have always crossed. He is my now and my future. Why focus on the past that will do nothing? And so, I must choose to let go. Let go of the negativity that I faced, decisions, worrying about things that don't matter, and everything else. It all needs to go! And sometimes, starting fresh is a very good thing.

When you know it is time to let go, don't fight it. We may not like what will happen when we do, but our heart always knows best. Deep down inside, we know what we need and we should always listen. Life never gets easier and neither does making choices, but at the end of the day worrying about something that is so insignificant isn't worth it. Keep moving forward and never look back. 

Friends: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

The topic for today is friends. They can be a blessing and sometimes they can be a pain. New friends, old friends, and friends that are in between, we all have them so why not talk about them? In a good way, of course. Or is it? I guess you will have to keep reading to find out!

My oldest sister once told me, "Friends come and go. You have friends in high school who won't always be your friend. You'll make friends in college and then move on and never talk to them. You'll eventually get new friends at a job later down the road who may not always stay there. Friends always change during different phases." Through out the last couple of years since being told that it has remained true. Do I still talk to people I went to college with? No, and if I do it's once a year or something. Do I still talk to people I used to work with? Nope, unless we are seeing how life is going. I have a few new friends since I moved to the east coast and time will only tell if we remain in contact when one moves. Who knows what the future holds!

Now don't get me wrong, I would love to stay in contact with more people but like my sister said, things change. It doesn't make me any less of a friend because I realize one day I may not be friends with someone because I will always be the best friend I can be with whomever is in my life.

Also, this isn't a reason to not have friends either. Don't make the excuse, "Well, since we probably won't remain friends so no point in having any." or, "Well, I'm in a new place and starting over sucks. No, thanks.". Life is dull when you have no one to share it with. Of course, family and spouses will be around for events but friends can be just as important! And sometimes, it's easier to rant to someone of the same gender than your husband. I know that for sure!

Another subject that goes along with friendship is balance. Balance and friendship? I'm sure you're wondering how these two words can be in the same sentence. Well, I'm here to explain!

Balance in a friendship is important. It is the thing that keeps a friendship from being one-sided. We can all agree that somewhere down the path of life we have come in contact with someone or quite a few someones that make everything about them. It is what they want, when they want it, and you can easily be replaced when your schedule doesn't fit into theirs. These are the people I can't stand! Obviously, for a very good reason. I mean, who wants to be beckoned when it works best for the other person? I am all about listening and understanding problems that people will face, but when they can't give you the same then there is no point in a friendship. A friendship is a form of relationship which requires two people. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with my husband where it's all about him. I'd lose it! This same concept goes for friends.

I am glad that even though friendships don't always work I can always count on my friend, Katelyn. I know that no matter where life takes us, we will always stay in contact and visit in person when we can. She is there for me to vent to and I am there for her. We have balance and it's great! If only more friendships could be that way.

To keep this post short, since mine always seem to be long, I'll end with this: Don't ever take a great friendship for granted and hold onto it for as long as possible. Friends may come and go but I want the good ones, the ones I really care about, to keep growing and flourishing like the beautiful flower that they are.

The First Year Of Marriage

Time has been flying by since January 2014. It is now March 3rd, 2015 and a year ago today I married my best friend. Our relationship hasn't always been picture perfect and for seven years we had been doing the long distance thing. I am quite grateful for his mother who helped push it along, if it wasn't for her we may not be where we are today!

Now, back to the real topic at hand, marriage. Marriage is a commitment between two people. It is a bond that shouldn't be broken but in this day and age divorce is everywhere. Many marriages don't even last a year and frankly, it's really sad. I knew from the beginning that no matter how upset we got at each other or what we disagreed on, if anything, divorce was never going to cross my mind. To this day, it hasn't. Our marriage isn't perfect and going from long distance to spending every day together has been quite an experience! But, it's an experience I wouldn't want with any other man. Therefore, the rest of this post will be about what I have learned in the past year when it comes to marriage which will hopefully come in handy down the road to remind me and possibly others to never forget when living with someone for the rest of your life. So with that, let the list begin!

First on my list (not in any specific order) is communication. This is key for any relationship, whether it is friendship, dating, or marriage like in this case. Communication can build trust and it can also break it. Communication also leaves the door open for talks about anything! There are times where Daniel or I need to vent about our day and this helps us understand one another better. It helps me know what he dislikes and what needs to be changed. There are also times where we vent our frustrations about one another. Sometimes, I don't want to hear it and think that I am just fine the way I handle things, sadly that isn't the case always. Communication makes couples stronger.

Second would be adjustment. I never thought being married would be difficult and frustrating at times. My parents always made it seem easy. I have now come to realize that living with someone can be interesting at times! It's much different than living with family for one, you have lived with them for so long. There are some habits that he has I never knew and I'm sure I have habits he didn't know about. Adjusting to these can take some time and even after a year I still haven't adjusted to them all. Adjusting doesn't have to be just moving in together either. At some point, kids will become another adjustment (no kids yet!) and even pets can be an adjustment. If you have married someone in the military, that's an adjustment as well because lots of moving is involved. When it comes to adjusting, communicating can help and just remember that things will get easier!

Third on my list would be sacrifice. I know this word all too well and so does my family. After getting married I spent one more day with my family and then moved. I've had to sacrifice them being a part of my engagement because of Daniel being from a different state and being in the military. They haven't been able to get to him know that well either. I wish they could have played a bigger part in huge events in my life, but I can't help a southern boy stole my heart. Sorry, my wonderful family! Sacrifices can also come with arguments or views and life plans. I don't know what other sacrifices we will have to make later on in life, but I do know that he will always be by my side and so will our families. That makes sacrifices a little easier.

Fourth, never stop showing your spouse that you love them. This doesn't really seem like a hard one, but let me tell you it can be! If you just had an argument, being loving isn't really on your mind at that point. But, even just hearing them out and remaining calm when you want to yell can be a loving gesture. You don't have to go out and buy a material item to show them love. Love comes from your heart. You can show them love by, listening to them, doing what they want to do, and saying "I love you" which can never be overused. I know sometimes I struggle to be loving, but that is everyone at some point. I hope to get better in this aspect in the next year!

Fifth, a big wedding doesn't make a marriage. How many have seen magazines as they are checking out about the next big celeb wedding or their next divorce? I know I have! Every girl dreams of a big wedding, don't get me wrong, they are beautiful! If circumstances were different, I still wouldn't of had a big wedding, but that's just me. I like to be stress free! We had a small ceremony by my pastor in my parent's house. It was beautiful, small, and unique. It wasn't traditional and I do wish more of our family could have been there, but again, two different states is hard because someone will always be left out. But back to the topic at hand, a big wedding (even a small one) doesn't make it last. The two need to realize the commitment and love they must give for it to work. Everything on my list will apply and other things that I draw a blank to. If you can't have a big wedding like you want, don't stress! Saving money is more important, that was the case for us. Everyone is different and everyone has different circumstances but it all comes down to realizing how important marriage is and what it means to you. We shouldn't take it lightly.

Sixth, and the last for now :p, is God. God has many thoughts on marriage in the Bible and sometimes we need reminders. My parents have been married for 25 years and God has been the center for a majority of it. I see how God works in their lives and I want that. They have been a good example. God is in charge of everything and he knows what is best. I hope that Daniel and I will continue to grow our relationship with him and become a strong couple with God at the very center.

There is my list and I hope to grow in all of these areas in the next year and hopefully I'll grow in other areas that weren't mentioned. Marriage is not always easy, but it's worth everything if you are with the right person. We have our arguments and I know that won't change, but how we deal with them will. I don't want a perfect marriage because then I can't continue to grow and learn. I want to keep growing and learning and being the best wife I am able to be for Daniel. I am happy to spend and love him everyday. I can't wait for many more years and to see where God takes us! Here is too many more years in the future to show how much I love you, Happy Anniversary Boo Boo! You'll always be the one I want to be with. xoxo