Now, back to the real topic at hand, marriage. Marriage is a commitment between two people. It is a bond that shouldn't be broken but in this day and age divorce is everywhere. Many marriages don't even last a year and frankly, it's really sad. I knew from the beginning that no matter how upset we got at each other or what we disagreed on, if anything, divorce was never going to cross my mind. To this day, it hasn't. Our marriage isn't perfect and going from long distance to spending every day together has been quite an experience! But, it's an experience I wouldn't want with any other man. Therefore, the rest of this post will be about what I have learned in the past year when it comes to marriage which will hopefully come in handy down the road to remind me and possibly others to never forget when living with someone for the rest of your life. So with that, let the list begin!
First on my list (not in any specific order) is communication. This is key for any relationship, whether it is friendship, dating, or marriage like in this case. Communication can build trust and it can also break it. Communication also leaves the door open for talks about anything! There are times where Daniel or I need to vent about our day and this helps us understand one another better. It helps me know what he dislikes and what needs to be changed. There are also times where we vent our frustrations about one another. Sometimes, I don't want to hear it and think that I am just fine the way I handle things, sadly that isn't the case always. Communication makes couples stronger.
Second would be adjustment. I never thought being married would be difficult and frustrating at times. My parents always made it seem easy. I have now come to realize that living with someone can be interesting at times! It's much different than living with family for one, you have lived with them for so long. There are some habits that he has I never knew and I'm sure I have habits he didn't know about. Adjusting to these can take some time and even after a year I still haven't adjusted to them all. Adjusting doesn't have to be just moving in together either. At some point, kids will become another adjustment (no kids yet!) and even pets can be an adjustment. If you have married someone in the military, that's an adjustment as well because lots of moving is involved. When it comes to adjusting, communicating can help and just remember that things will get easier!
Third on my list would be sacrifice. I know this word all too well and so does my family. After getting married I spent one more day with my family and then moved. I've had to sacrifice them being a part of my engagement because of Daniel being from a different state and being in the military. They haven't been able to get to him know that well either. I wish they could have played a bigger part in huge events in my life, but I can't help a southern boy stole my heart. Sorry, my wonderful family! Sacrifices can also come with arguments or views and life plans. I don't know what other sacrifices we will have to make later on in life, but I do know that he will always be by my side and so will our families. That makes sacrifices a little easier.
Fourth, never stop showing your spouse that you love them. This doesn't really seem like a hard one, but let me tell you it can be! If you just had an argument, being loving isn't really on your mind at that point. But, even just hearing them out and remaining calm when you want to yell can be a loving gesture. You don't have to go out and buy a material item to show them love. Love comes from your heart. You can show them love by, listening to them, doing what they want to do, and saying "I love you" which can never be overused. I know sometimes I struggle to be loving, but that is everyone at some point. I hope to get better in this aspect in the next year!
Fifth, a big wedding doesn't make a marriage. How many have seen magazines as they are checking out about the next big celeb wedding or their next divorce? I know I have! Every girl dreams of a big wedding, don't get me wrong, they are beautiful! If circumstances were different, I still wouldn't of had a big wedding, but that's just me. I like to be stress free! We had a small ceremony by my pastor in my parent's house. It was beautiful, small, and unique. It wasn't traditional and I do wish more of our family could have been there, but again, two different states is hard because someone will always be left out. But back to the topic at hand, a big wedding (even a small one) doesn't make it last. The two need to realize the commitment and love they must give for it to work. Everything on my list will apply and other things that I draw a blank to. If you can't have a big wedding like you want, don't stress! Saving money is more important, that was the case for us. Everyone is different and everyone has different circumstances but it all comes down to realizing how important marriage is and what it means to you. We shouldn't take it lightly.
Sixth, and the last for now :p, is God. God has many thoughts on marriage in the Bible and sometimes we need reminders. My parents have been married for 25 years and God has been the center for a majority of it. I see how God works in their lives and I want that. They have been a good example. God is in charge of everything and he knows what is best. I hope that Daniel and I will continue to grow our relationship with him and become a strong couple with God at the very center.
There is my list and I hope to grow in all of these areas in the next year and hopefully I'll grow in other areas that weren't mentioned. Marriage is not always easy, but it's worth everything if you are with the right person. We have our arguments and I know that won't change, but how we deal with them will. I don't want a perfect marriage because then I can't continue to grow and learn. I want to keep growing and learning and being the best wife I am able to be for Daniel. I am happy to spend and love him everyday. I can't wait for many more years and to see where God takes us! Here is too many more years in the future to show how much I love you, Happy Anniversary Boo Boo! You'll always be the one I want to be with. xoxo
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